I spent the better part of a year and half trying to force a relationship to work that just wasn't going to; it was as if I was forcing a square peg into a round hole, and I did not feel happy most of the time. Now, I find myself once again single. Over the past few months, I've contemplated whether or not to start writing again, but after a particularly disappointing episode, I decided I need the therapy that writing provides me. Getting my experiences down in print is so cathartic.
Given my past misadventures in dating, I am much more cautious and have a much higher guard up with new men. I am listening to my gut and watching for those red flags and getting out much sooner when men don't act as they should. As such, I am not dating as much. I am also spending more time with my girlfriends and trying new things.
The first post break-up date I went on was with a strikingly handsome man. We shall call him Marshall. He was a foreign exchange student working on his PhD at a nearby university. We messaged on Facebook for a while and finally set a time to meet. We decided to have lunch at a unique pizza place a friend suggested. We were set to meet at Marshall's apartment parking lot and go to lunch together. When I arrived, I texted him. He came rushing out minutes later in a state of disarray. He had water spots on his shirt, and his shoes weren't even tied. It looked as if he had barely made it out of the shower and gotten dressed before my arrival. I understand running late, so I didn't think much about his harried appearance. We walked to his car, and he hopped in without opening my car door. While I think chivalry should still be exercised, the sad truth is that most men don't open doors and pull out chairs and practice other such gestures. So while I did notice the lack of opening the door, it didn't bother me too much.
The drive to lunch was quick and painless. We talked about his home country and work as well as my family and career. Upon arriving at the restaurant, we had to wait a short while and continued talking. It wasn't until we were seated and had ordered our lunch that I started to get truly annoyed. If you know me, you know that I love to talk and be in contact with my friends and love my phone. But when I'm on a date, it goes on silent and stays in my purse until we part. Marshall pulled his phone out to show me a picture and once he did that, he stayed on it for the duration of our meal. Strike one! I should have called him out on the rude behavior, but I wanted to eat and get out of their ASAP. I remained polite, and we left promptly after finishing lunch.
On the drive home, Marshall started to complain about the driving habits of people in the town he lived in. He made a racial remark which was definitely rude. Strike two. Quickly following this comment, a car cut him off; he laid into the horn and yelled angrily at the other driver. I would never say that I am perfect and wouldn't get upset while driving, but a first date is not the time to show your road rage. Strike three!
He dropped me off at my car, and we went our separate ways. Neither of us tried contacting the other, and no more has been heard from Marshall.
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