A friend once told me that I deserve the dating persistence award. She is right. If you've been keeping up with my blog, you have read the highlights and disasters of my dating life of the last year and a half. I am happy to report that I have finally found a wonderful, fantastic man that is definitely worth the wait.
Corey (yes, my best friend and boyfriend have the same name) came out of nowhere when I was so close to giving up on the whole dating scene. I've had my fair share of bad dates and crappy men. He has swooped in and changed all of that.
We started talking on a Monday and met five days later. Our first date started with dinner. For the first time in a long time, I had someone sitting across from me that was truly interested in me. He asked questions about my life and listened intently to everything I had to say. I will never forget when we hit upon the subject of my mom and sister passing away. I said, "Are you sure you want to hear this?"
"I want to know everything about you, everything that has lead you to be sitting across from me right now." That just melted my heart.
Dinner was great, but we did not want to leave one another's company so we went to an ice cream shop for a sweet treat and sat for well over an hour talking. I loved learning about his family and life. It felt different with him. This was a date like no other I had been on. After this, we still didn't want to part so we decided to go to a movie. The movie was good, but his company was so much better.
At the end of the night, he said he wanted to see me again, but I was scheduled to go out of town with my best friend. So, we had to put it off for a couple of days, but we were in constant contact the entire time (ask Cori; she can attest to it). When I got back from my trip, I immediately planned to see him that night. He invited me over for dinner. When I arrived, he toured me around his place before playing the guitar and serenading me. No one had ever done anything like this for me. Afterwards he made dinner and we watched a movie before parting ways.
Our constant communication continued, and we set our next date for the following Friday. He was going to take me shopping and to lunch. It was a great day, and I can tell you that at the end of that date, I knew he was the one. From the first date, I knew he was special and had a feeling that I had found my man, and on date three, I knew for certain. There has always been something different about our time together, and I wanted to spend every possible second with him. I had not had that feeling in a long time. The next day, we both deleted our dating profiles and have been nearly inseparable since. There's not a day that goes by when we do not talk, text, or see each other. He has the distinction of being my very last first date and very first fifth date. I hate being away from him and wish we didn't have daily obligations that keep us busy, but absence does make the heart grow fonder.
As the days and weeks have passed, Corey has continued to show me just how wonderful he is. He will randomly send a text or email to let me know he's thinking about me. When I was away on my cruise, I didn't have access to my phone, but he still sent me a message every day so that when I finally turned my phone back on, I had sweet messages awaiting me. He wants to be a part of every aspect of my life. My daughter already enjoys spending time with him. The short time that our relationship has been growing has been amazing.
It may seem things are moving fast for us, but when you know, you know. I have never once doubted or mistrusted him. I am not worried that he will disappear on me one day, and I see a bright future with him. He's even getting me to go to a UF game this season despite my adamant dislike of the Gators and the Swamp.
Corey, I know you're reading this right now, and I want you to know that I am so happy to have you in my life. You've made me feel like the luckiest woman in the world. This has been the best time of my life in a long time, and I can't wait to see what the future holds for us!
XOXO,
Leia
Monday, July 8, 2013
Sunday, July 7, 2013
My Achilles Heel
Bob is one of the very first men that I met in my dating journey, and he is the last story of dating mishaps I have to share with my readers. This is going to be a doozy.
I first saw his profile on the dating site and noticed that he lived in my town. Small world. However, there was something in his profile that just made me not message him at first. I saw his profile pop up many times without acting on it. That is until I saw him in person. A friend of mine from work and I went to a local store to grab food for lunch. We were waiting in line, and I happened to glance behind me. There stood Bob a few feet away, and boy, was he gorgeous. I was nearly speechless.
I turned quickly and whispered to my friend to look at him. She did so quickly and didn't say anything. Once we left, I told her that I saw him on the online dating site. She said, "I know him." She told me worked at a local pharmacy. That day I went home to find him again online. It wasn't easy, but I finally located his profile. It sure was him. Before I could even message him, he sent me a message. I was surprised and responded and we began want became a very long interaction.
Our first official "date" was at an ice cream shop and then for drinks. He was a great story teller and regaled me of tale after tale about his life, family, and friends. Since he was a local boy, he also told me about his experiences in school. He had been in many of my co-workers classes, and it was interesting to hear what he had to say.
We met again and again. We went to movies, out to dinner, out dancing, shopping...we spent a lot of time together. But a couple months down the road, he "wanted to talk." That phrase scares women just as much as men. So, I met him, and he proceeded to tell me that he had so much on his plate that he couldn't fit dating into his life, and he just wanted to be friends. I tried my hardest to keep a hard exterior, but this was my first "heart break" since being single, and it didn't take long for the tears to flow. I did warn him, but he didn't leave soon enough before the waterworks started.
When we finally parted ways that night, we had said we'd be friends. I didn't really believe that would happen, but after a few weeks of awkward messaging, we slipped into an easy friendship. We had lots of inside jokes and could keep conversations going for a long time. I think I secretly held onto the thought that maybe he would change his mind eventually and want a relationship at some point. After a few months, we started hanging out again and doing friend things together. It was as if no time had passed, and things hadn't changed.
Oddly enough, he seemed to have a radar and whenever a new guy was on the horizon, he seemed to pick up communication or do something that would give me hope about things happening between us. No matter who I was seeing, Bob was always in the back of my mind. He was the barometer by which I measured every guy, and no one ever met his quality. I knew that until I was able to put him out of my head as a dating prospect that I would never be able to give a new guy a shot.
I did eventually get up the courage to talk to him about dating, but he said that until he was settled with his new job and place, he just wanted to focus on that. Still, we would text message, see each other, or talk on the phone on a daily basis until one week. All of a sudden, he disappeared and I didn't hear from him. I reasoned with myself that this was for the best. I could quit Bob cold turkey. It took a week before he contacted me again. Something changed in me that week. Not quite sure what it was, but the pull that he had previously had on me wasn't as strong. I didn't feel the need to hear from him and know what was going on with him. We still talked on a semi-regular basis, but that undeniable connection I had with him is gone. For a long time, I knew in my heart that Bob and I were each other's lobsters, but he was just scared. I now know that's not true and that there was a very good reason why we never ended up together which I will discuss in tomorrow's post.
XOXO,
Leia
I first saw his profile on the dating site and noticed that he lived in my town. Small world. However, there was something in his profile that just made me not message him at first. I saw his profile pop up many times without acting on it. That is until I saw him in person. A friend of mine from work and I went to a local store to grab food for lunch. We were waiting in line, and I happened to glance behind me. There stood Bob a few feet away, and boy, was he gorgeous. I was nearly speechless.
I turned quickly and whispered to my friend to look at him. She did so quickly and didn't say anything. Once we left, I told her that I saw him on the online dating site. She said, "I know him." She told me worked at a local pharmacy. That day I went home to find him again online. It wasn't easy, but I finally located his profile. It sure was him. Before I could even message him, he sent me a message. I was surprised and responded and we began want became a very long interaction.
Our first official "date" was at an ice cream shop and then for drinks. He was a great story teller and regaled me of tale after tale about his life, family, and friends. Since he was a local boy, he also told me about his experiences in school. He had been in many of my co-workers classes, and it was interesting to hear what he had to say.
We met again and again. We went to movies, out to dinner, out dancing, shopping...we spent a lot of time together. But a couple months down the road, he "wanted to talk." That phrase scares women just as much as men. So, I met him, and he proceeded to tell me that he had so much on his plate that he couldn't fit dating into his life, and he just wanted to be friends. I tried my hardest to keep a hard exterior, but this was my first "heart break" since being single, and it didn't take long for the tears to flow. I did warn him, but he didn't leave soon enough before the waterworks started.
When we finally parted ways that night, we had said we'd be friends. I didn't really believe that would happen, but after a few weeks of awkward messaging, we slipped into an easy friendship. We had lots of inside jokes and could keep conversations going for a long time. I think I secretly held onto the thought that maybe he would change his mind eventually and want a relationship at some point. After a few months, we started hanging out again and doing friend things together. It was as if no time had passed, and things hadn't changed.
Oddly enough, he seemed to have a radar and whenever a new guy was on the horizon, he seemed to pick up communication or do something that would give me hope about things happening between us. No matter who I was seeing, Bob was always in the back of my mind. He was the barometer by which I measured every guy, and no one ever met his quality. I knew that until I was able to put him out of my head as a dating prospect that I would never be able to give a new guy a shot.
I did eventually get up the courage to talk to him about dating, but he said that until he was settled with his new job and place, he just wanted to focus on that. Still, we would text message, see each other, or talk on the phone on a daily basis until one week. All of a sudden, he disappeared and I didn't hear from him. I reasoned with myself that this was for the best. I could quit Bob cold turkey. It took a week before he contacted me again. Something changed in me that week. Not quite sure what it was, but the pull that he had previously had on me wasn't as strong. I didn't feel the need to hear from him and know what was going on with him. We still talked on a semi-regular basis, but that undeniable connection I had with him is gone. For a long time, I knew in my heart that Bob and I were each other's lobsters, but he was just scared. I now know that's not true and that there was a very good reason why we never ended up together which I will discuss in tomorrow's post.
XOXO,
Leia
Saturday, July 6, 2013
The false lobster
"Cheesy Poof" was one of my favorite people to meet. He was witty, always quick with a comeback, and a blast to be around. We planned our first date to be a bar hopping adventure in Orlando. I looked forward to meeting him and when I did, I was not displeased. He startled me at first, because he opened my car door for me. I'm sad to report that he was the first man to do that for me that I can remember. What a gentleman, I thought.
We started out a great antique store/bar. It was so neat to enjoy my wine amongst cool treasures. Then, we went to downtown Orlando. This was my first trip downtown. I was excited about seeing what Orlando had to offer. We tried a different drink each different establishment. What fun! He got me to try new things such as a dill pickle shot and chocolate milk shot. And what do you know...they were both great. After everything closed that night, we walked around Lake Eola and stood looking at the moon for a while. It was very romantic.
After this, we went to his apartment. I was going to stay on the couch instead of going back home. We talked a bit more before going to sleep. We spent much of the next morning talking and learning more about each other. When we parted ways, he said that he wanted to do it again. I was what I call cautiously optimistic. I have had many good first dates that didn't turn into anything.
However, over the week that followed, he and I kept in good contact. Maybe he had lobster potential after all. We did have difficulty making time for a second date. Between my limited schedule and his friends coming to visit, we were unable to make plans for weeks. About a month later, it seemed that a second meeting would be possible. He mentioned that he and his friends were talking about a trip to a local springs here for a day of kayaking. I was looking forward to seeing him.
In the week leading up to this rumored trip, I started receiving fewer and fewer messages from him and if I even hinted at seeing him, he read my message and didn't respond (those darn read receipts strike again). I was getting more than a little frustrated. He finally let me know that he wasn't coming to town. At this point, I could care less, but I had a little nagging feeling in the back of my head that told me something was up.
When I could handle it no longer, I texted him and asked pointblank if he had met someone. He actually read and responded to this message. And, of course as my suspicion told me, he had met someone. I don't know why he wouldn't just tell me that earlier. We were both looking for our lobster, and if he found his, he was lucky. I told him just that. "Cheesy Poof" was a great guy and really did nothing wrong to me except just wait for me to ask what was up. I do hope that he is happy and found someone that makes him happy, but he is not of the lobster quality that I had hoped.
XOXO,
Leia
We started out a great antique store/bar. It was so neat to enjoy my wine amongst cool treasures. Then, we went to downtown Orlando. This was my first trip downtown. I was excited about seeing what Orlando had to offer. We tried a different drink each different establishment. What fun! He got me to try new things such as a dill pickle shot and chocolate milk shot. And what do you know...they were both great. After everything closed that night, we walked around Lake Eola and stood looking at the moon for a while. It was very romantic.
After this, we went to his apartment. I was going to stay on the couch instead of going back home. We talked a bit more before going to sleep. We spent much of the next morning talking and learning more about each other. When we parted ways, he said that he wanted to do it again. I was what I call cautiously optimistic. I have had many good first dates that didn't turn into anything.
However, over the week that followed, he and I kept in good contact. Maybe he had lobster potential after all. We did have difficulty making time for a second date. Between my limited schedule and his friends coming to visit, we were unable to make plans for weeks. About a month later, it seemed that a second meeting would be possible. He mentioned that he and his friends were talking about a trip to a local springs here for a day of kayaking. I was looking forward to seeing him.
In the week leading up to this rumored trip, I started receiving fewer and fewer messages from him and if I even hinted at seeing him, he read my message and didn't respond (those darn read receipts strike again). I was getting more than a little frustrated. He finally let me know that he wasn't coming to town. At this point, I could care less, but I had a little nagging feeling in the back of my head that told me something was up.
When I could handle it no longer, I texted him and asked pointblank if he had met someone. He actually read and responded to this message. And, of course as my suspicion told me, he had met someone. I don't know why he wouldn't just tell me that earlier. We were both looking for our lobster, and if he found his, he was lucky. I told him just that. "Cheesy Poof" was a great guy and really did nothing wrong to me except just wait for me to ask what was up. I do hope that he is happy and found someone that makes him happy, but he is not of the lobster quality that I had hoped.
XOXO,
Leia
Friday, July 5, 2013
Sometimes crazy is necessary
"Stage 5 Clinger" was a sleek operator. We exchanged a few messages, and I was interested in getting to know him more. He wanted to talk on the phone immediately, but it was late and a school night so I told him I'd prefer the next day. He begged and said there was just one question he had to ask. I agreed and let him call. The question that he wanted to ask was about his hair. Even though he was in his mid-twenties, his hairline was already receding, and more than one woman had disappeared on him because of it. Of course, I'm not that shallow. Of course, that won't be an issue, I told him.
That one question conversation lasted hours. He told me about how he only talked to one person at a time. "I consider us 'talking' so you are the only person I'm talking to. I don't mess around with a bunch of women. You can check my phone whenever you want. I have nothing to hide." He said all the right things. "I know you and your daughter are a package deal. I am okay with that." I was starting to get won over very easily despite my skepticism toward men. "I'll call and message when I say." When we hung up, I thought I had found a decent man amidst the sea of rotten fish.
Sure enough the next day, he sent me messages and called as soon as he was out of work. He wasn't going on the dating site (yes, I checked...refer to scumbag part two). We talked many times and even Skyped. This could be it, I silently hoped. He was anxious to meet me, but I didn't have much free time without my daughter. So, I found a few hours that she would be away from home and told him to come help me move. He agreed and traveled the hour and half to help. He was great and even brought me a rose. Aww, how sweet, right? We enjoyed each other's company and wanted to date exclusively. It was much too soon for me to agree to that, but again, I wasn't seeing anyone else so I said we could try.
The next day, his communication was slow. It was out of character and for reason, I decided to go on the dating site that night and noticed he was online. Immediately, I had a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. Maybe it's nothing. Maybe he's looking at my pictures. After noticing this, I was a bit obsessive about it especially since he wasn't messaging me often, but we had another date planned so I tried not to worry. He was coming to see my new place all set up. When he showed up, he had an orchid for me as a housewarming gift. Again very sweet. We had a great time. Maybe the past two days were just a fluke. He went back home, and I felt only slightly better about him.
However, the following day, the same things started happening. Very little communication and lots of online dating site activity. When I noticed this, I will confess that I did something a little extreme (something I had not done before or since), but I had learned time and time again to trust my intuition, and every cell in my body was screaming that something was up. I went onto the dating site and made a fake profile and viewed his profile (it shows who views you). Surely, he wouldn't message the fake me, but he did. He proceeded to feed me the same garbage a second time around. He's not seeing anyone and focuses on one person at a time, blah, blah, blah. I was both angry and vindicated at the same time. I knew something was not right, and this just confirmed my suspicions. I waited a bit before texting him that I was done with him.
"Why baby? I want to see you."
I told him that he was not being honest with me and that I told him from day one, I don't play games and need no drama in my life. He wanted to know how he wasn't being honest.
"You're not only talking to me and you're still going on the dating site to meet people."
He did not respond, but sure enough, when he got off work, my phone rang.
"What's this all about?"
"I told you that I wanted you to delete your profile. You know what happened with the last guy who tried that on me."
We had a long conversation, but the whole time I knew that I was done with him, and he kept piling lie after lie on.
"Fine, I'll delete my profile if that makes you happy, but if I say it's deleted, it's deleted. You don't get to check up on me. You just trust me. That's what a relationship is."
What a crock of crap.
"Fine."
We hung up. Then, guess what he did. Did he go delete his profile? Nope. He went on and messaged the fake me. What a dirtbag. I went back and forth with him before I couldn't stand it anymore. I sent a final message to him telling him to try his BS on someone stupid enough to believe it before deleting my fake profile.
I figured he'd make the connection that it was me, but evidently he was as stupid as he was shady. He tried calling and texting the real me, but I was busy with a friend and didn't respond. When he hadn't heard from me all the next day, he called me. I happened to be sitting my best friend's couch. I didn't want to, but I answered the phone.
"What happened to you today? I texted you this morning."
I didn't say anything for a while and don't know quite how I started the rest of my speech. But eventually I said, "I know you're lying to me."
"What are you talking about?"
"You're still trying to meet other women."
"No, I'm not."
We went back and forth. "So you're telling me the name Chloe means nothing to you?"
"I have never talked to anyone with that name before. I don't know what you're talking about."
"Listen, we're both adults, and we both know you're lying. If you want to pretend you're not, go ahead, but we're done."
He was silent for a minute. "Well, I'm not lying, but I guess that's that."
I hung up then. I am not one for confrontation, so that conversation was difficult for me. Unfortunately for future men, this idiot created a big mistrust issue that has been hard for me to work through. And what I hate most is that, he is going to continue pulling this crap on other women and some of them will not catch on and will get really hurt. Why he would not just be honest and say he was talking to other people is beyond me. Some people...
XOXO,
Leia
That one question conversation lasted hours. He told me about how he only talked to one person at a time. "I consider us 'talking' so you are the only person I'm talking to. I don't mess around with a bunch of women. You can check my phone whenever you want. I have nothing to hide." He said all the right things. "I know you and your daughter are a package deal. I am okay with that." I was starting to get won over very easily despite my skepticism toward men. "I'll call and message when I say." When we hung up, I thought I had found a decent man amidst the sea of rotten fish.
Sure enough the next day, he sent me messages and called as soon as he was out of work. He wasn't going on the dating site (yes, I checked...refer to scumbag part two). We talked many times and even Skyped. This could be it, I silently hoped. He was anxious to meet me, but I didn't have much free time without my daughter. So, I found a few hours that she would be away from home and told him to come help me move. He agreed and traveled the hour and half to help. He was great and even brought me a rose. Aww, how sweet, right? We enjoyed each other's company and wanted to date exclusively. It was much too soon for me to agree to that, but again, I wasn't seeing anyone else so I said we could try.
The next day, his communication was slow. It was out of character and for reason, I decided to go on the dating site that night and noticed he was online. Immediately, I had a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. Maybe it's nothing. Maybe he's looking at my pictures. After noticing this, I was a bit obsessive about it especially since he wasn't messaging me often, but we had another date planned so I tried not to worry. He was coming to see my new place all set up. When he showed up, he had an orchid for me as a housewarming gift. Again very sweet. We had a great time. Maybe the past two days were just a fluke. He went back home, and I felt only slightly better about him.
However, the following day, the same things started happening. Very little communication and lots of online dating site activity. When I noticed this, I will confess that I did something a little extreme (something I had not done before or since), but I had learned time and time again to trust my intuition, and every cell in my body was screaming that something was up. I went onto the dating site and made a fake profile and viewed his profile (it shows who views you). Surely, he wouldn't message the fake me, but he did. He proceeded to feed me the same garbage a second time around. He's not seeing anyone and focuses on one person at a time, blah, blah, blah. I was both angry and vindicated at the same time. I knew something was not right, and this just confirmed my suspicions. I waited a bit before texting him that I was done with him.
"Why baby? I want to see you."
I told him that he was not being honest with me and that I told him from day one, I don't play games and need no drama in my life. He wanted to know how he wasn't being honest.
"You're not only talking to me and you're still going on the dating site to meet people."
He did not respond, but sure enough, when he got off work, my phone rang.
"What's this all about?"
"I told you that I wanted you to delete your profile. You know what happened with the last guy who tried that on me."
We had a long conversation, but the whole time I knew that I was done with him, and he kept piling lie after lie on.
"Fine, I'll delete my profile if that makes you happy, but if I say it's deleted, it's deleted. You don't get to check up on me. You just trust me. That's what a relationship is."
What a crock of crap.
"Fine."
We hung up. Then, guess what he did. Did he go delete his profile? Nope. He went on and messaged the fake me. What a dirtbag. I went back and forth with him before I couldn't stand it anymore. I sent a final message to him telling him to try his BS on someone stupid enough to believe it before deleting my fake profile.
I figured he'd make the connection that it was me, but evidently he was as stupid as he was shady. He tried calling and texting the real me, but I was busy with a friend and didn't respond. When he hadn't heard from me all the next day, he called me. I happened to be sitting my best friend's couch. I didn't want to, but I answered the phone.
"What happened to you today? I texted you this morning."
I didn't say anything for a while and don't know quite how I started the rest of my speech. But eventually I said, "I know you're lying to me."
"What are you talking about?"
"You're still trying to meet other women."
"No, I'm not."
We went back and forth. "So you're telling me the name Chloe means nothing to you?"
"I have never talked to anyone with that name before. I don't know what you're talking about."
"Listen, we're both adults, and we both know you're lying. If you want to pretend you're not, go ahead, but we're done."
He was silent for a minute. "Well, I'm not lying, but I guess that's that."
I hung up then. I am not one for confrontation, so that conversation was difficult for me. Unfortunately for future men, this idiot created a big mistrust issue that has been hard for me to work through. And what I hate most is that, he is going to continue pulling this crap on other women and some of them will not catch on and will get really hurt. Why he would not just be honest and say he was talking to other people is beyond me. Some people...
XOXO,
Leia
Thursday, July 4, 2013
That's so cold
"Shoe Boy" was quite a character. He took me to dinner for our first date and followed that with a trip to a wine bar and then to listen to live music. That's the way to win me over. We had a great time. However, the fabled "sparks" weren't there on that first date. I hoped that the next meeting would produce sparks, and it did just that. We had another dinner out followed with lots of deep conversation and movie watching, two of my favorites. Date three was sure to be even better. It was the same type of date, but we still enjoyed each other's company. He seemed to be really into me, and I was feeling really comfortable with him. I texted him that I missed him and looked forward to our next meeting. Later, I realized that I had left a pair of shoes at his apartment. So, I let him know that. He did not respond to either of these messages. However, he had an iPhone and had read receipts turned on. I knew he read my messages and chose not to respond. It took days of waiting before I finally got a response from him. By this time, I was mad that he kept reading messages without responding but I wanted my damn shoes back. He proceeded to tell me that I was moving too fast for him and he just wasn't ready for a serious relationship. Really? Because I said I missed him? I miss lots of people...my students, my friends, my co-workers. What an ass. I gave up on the shoes and cut my losses, assuming I was done with him.
He had different ideas. Weeks later, he messaged me and started telling me that he missed me and wanted to see me. He even suggested moving in together and me being his sugar mama. This just made me laugh. A sugar mama on a teacher's salary. This guy was severely unbalanced. We did not see each other again, but he kept messaging me every few weeks. When I didn't respond via text message, he tried the dating site. He would send a message and wait a few days or week before trying again. I didn't hear from him for a while. About a month ago, I got a text message from a number I didn't recognize. The area code was from Philadelphia. I didn't know anyone from Pennsylvania. I was with my best friend, and she goaded me to ask who it was.
Before continuing, I must say that in the last few months, I started using iPhone read receipts. So, when I sent, "Hi. Who is this?" and he responded back with his name and a frowny face, it showed me as having read the message. Obviously, I wasn't going to respond. He tried to move in with me. After a few minutes, I received another message that said, "That's cold." I found this beyond comical as he had done the same thing to me six months earlier.
He did not message me again for a week. It came on the dating site and said, "You don't even want to hear what I have to say?" I have come across some pretty persistent people in my experiences. I happened to delete my dating profile a few days later and haven't heard from him. I'm hoping that it stays that way.
XOXO,
Leia
He had different ideas. Weeks later, he messaged me and started telling me that he missed me and wanted to see me. He even suggested moving in together and me being his sugar mama. This just made me laugh. A sugar mama on a teacher's salary. This guy was severely unbalanced. We did not see each other again, but he kept messaging me every few weeks. When I didn't respond via text message, he tried the dating site. He would send a message and wait a few days or week before trying again. I didn't hear from him for a while. About a month ago, I got a text message from a number I didn't recognize. The area code was from Philadelphia. I didn't know anyone from Pennsylvania. I was with my best friend, and she goaded me to ask who it was.
Before continuing, I must say that in the last few months, I started using iPhone read receipts. So, when I sent, "Hi. Who is this?" and he responded back with his name and a frowny face, it showed me as having read the message. Obviously, I wasn't going to respond. He tried to move in with me. After a few minutes, I received another message that said, "That's cold." I found this beyond comical as he had done the same thing to me six months earlier.
He did not message me again for a week. It came on the dating site and said, "You don't even want to hear what I have to say?" I have come across some pretty persistent people in my experiences. I happened to delete my dating profile a few days later and haven't heard from him. I'm hoping that it stays that way.
XOXO,
Leia
Wednesday, July 3, 2013
I am not proud of myself, but I blame the male gender
"Two Shots" was another disappearing act although it was a little different than the stories I have previously shared. He lived about four hours away. We both acknowledged that the distance would be difficult but if we hit it off, the distance could be worked with. So, we planned to meet for an entire weekend. The town he lived in is supposed to be great; I reasoned that if we met for dinner and didn't hit it off, I'd just check out the town on my own. We were both excited about meeting, and from our conversations, it seemed that we were both on the same page in what we were looking for. We both clicked and had great conversations.
The morning of our meeting, I was amped up. I had packed for the weekend. I woke early to get my workout in and while I was exercising, I got a message from him. He said he had some medical issues in the male regions and was in the ER. Eventually, he told me that he wouldn't be up for company that weekend, and he had some pretty major medical issues going on that would need treatment. He needed some time to sort through all that and think about things.
The next day, I messaged him to let him know I was thinking about him. Later on, I noticed that he had defriended me on Facebook and blocked me on the dating site. When I realized that, I (after goading on from my best friend) sent him a not very nice message about his planning to disappear on me. In brief, it asked if he had lost some of his male anatomy the previous day. He did respond and said he was not interested anymore, and I moved on. Who needs to drive four hours anyway?
Did this particular man deserve that? Perhaps or perhaps not. Was it a low blow? Definitely, but I, and I'm sure many other women in the dating scene, are tired of being played and discarded without so much as a goodbye. It did feel good and satisfying at the moment. Although, I do regret sending that message now. I usually try to keep it above that level. I would take it back if I could. Oh well...
XOXO,
Leia
The morning of our meeting, I was amped up. I had packed for the weekend. I woke early to get my workout in and while I was exercising, I got a message from him. He said he had some medical issues in the male regions and was in the ER. Eventually, he told me that he wouldn't be up for company that weekend, and he had some pretty major medical issues going on that would need treatment. He needed some time to sort through all that and think about things.
The next day, I messaged him to let him know I was thinking about him. Later on, I noticed that he had defriended me on Facebook and blocked me on the dating site. When I realized that, I (after goading on from my best friend) sent him a not very nice message about his planning to disappear on me. In brief, it asked if he had lost some of his male anatomy the previous day. He did respond and said he was not interested anymore, and I moved on. Who needs to drive four hours anyway?
Did this particular man deserve that? Perhaps or perhaps not. Was it a low blow? Definitely, but I, and I'm sure many other women in the dating scene, are tired of being played and discarded without so much as a goodbye. It did feel good and satisfying at the moment. Although, I do regret sending that message now. I usually try to keep it above that level. I would take it back if I could. Oh well...
XOXO,
Leia
Tuesday, July 2, 2013
The ever popular disappearing act
This post will detail a last few guys that I did not meet because they went missing. That seems to be a popular way in which to handle a woman when the interest has waned.
I was quite excited to meet Dieter. He had a job that had him traveling around the world, he was from a foreign country, and he always called when he said he would (this was while I was reading Greg Behrendt's book). We planned our meeting a month in advance due to traveling. Be still, my type A heart. The night before meeting, he called me and said that we might have to meet later than expected. His sister was coming in, and he had to meet her for a bit first, but we would definitely meet. The morning of our date, I received a message from him. "Bad news. I need to reschedule. Sorry." No explanation. That's it. I was angry so I didn't plan to respond and wait to see if he actually tried to reschedule. He never did. Good riddance.
"Spiderman" and I talked on and off for four months. We talked on the phone a lot, and both wanted to meet. However, he was always busy working so scheduling it was difficult. I finally gave up trying. Out of the blue, he contacted me and wanted to take the day off work and travel the two hours to take me to dinner. I was surprised and happy. Two days before our date, I sent him a suggestion for dinner. He looked at the website and agreed it would be a good place to meet. The night before our date, I texted him to find out what time to expect him. Not a word, still to this day.
"Mama's Boy" was a local, and we messaged on a daily basis for a couple of weeks. He kept asking to meet but every time I gave him a day that I was free, he never took me up on the offer. Finally, we found a couple hours we could meet up. The morning of our meeting, he texted me that his mom was flying in and he couldn't meet. He continued texting for a couple more days before disappearing into thin air.
A message to guys and girls: if you're not interested in someone, be honest and don't disappear. It's better know than to wonder what happened.
XOXO,
Leia
I was quite excited to meet Dieter. He had a job that had him traveling around the world, he was from a foreign country, and he always called when he said he would (this was while I was reading Greg Behrendt's book). We planned our meeting a month in advance due to traveling. Be still, my type A heart. The night before meeting, he called me and said that we might have to meet later than expected. His sister was coming in, and he had to meet her for a bit first, but we would definitely meet. The morning of our date, I received a message from him. "Bad news. I need to reschedule. Sorry." No explanation. That's it. I was angry so I didn't plan to respond and wait to see if he actually tried to reschedule. He never did. Good riddance.
"Spiderman" and I talked on and off for four months. We talked on the phone a lot, and both wanted to meet. However, he was always busy working so scheduling it was difficult. I finally gave up trying. Out of the blue, he contacted me and wanted to take the day off work and travel the two hours to take me to dinner. I was surprised and happy. Two days before our date, I sent him a suggestion for dinner. He looked at the website and agreed it would be a good place to meet. The night before our date, I texted him to find out what time to expect him. Not a word, still to this day.
"Mama's Boy" was a local, and we messaged on a daily basis for a couple of weeks. He kept asking to meet but every time I gave him a day that I was free, he never took me up on the offer. Finally, we found a couple hours we could meet up. The morning of our meeting, he texted me that his mom was flying in and he couldn't meet. He continued texting for a couple more days before disappearing into thin air.
A message to guys and girls: if you're not interested in someone, be honest and don't disappear. It's better know than to wonder what happened.
XOXO,
Leia
Monday, July 1, 2013
Dude, take a hint!
John and I met for coffee one night. He was nice enough, but he said he wasn't looking for a relationship which I was. We parted ways and didn't really talk after that meeting. That is until he contacted me again a couple months down the road. He said that he had been thinking and maybe he could want a relationship and wanted to see me again. I agreed to the meeting, but for whatever reason, it just wasn't the same. To be perfectly honest, he kind of annoyed me. We left each other's company but did not talk about meeting again. I did text him and say that I wasn't interested in seeing him anymore. He responded about me not being a nice person or something, but I ignored that. I had done what I always wanted from men. I told him I didn't want to see him anymore. Since then, I had gotten a message every couple weeks from him, begging me to reconsider. He is quite persistent in his pleas for communication, but he finally quit with his messages.
XOXO,
Leia
XOXO,
Leia
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