Bob is one of the very first men that I met in my dating journey, and he is the last story of dating mishaps I have to share with my readers. This is going to be a doozy.
I first saw his profile on the dating site and noticed that he lived in my town. Small world. However, there was something in his profile that just made me not message him at first. I saw his profile pop up many times without acting on it. That is until I saw him in person. A friend of mine from work and I went to a local store to grab food for lunch. We were waiting in line, and I happened to glance behind me. There stood Bob a few feet away, and boy, was he gorgeous. I was nearly speechless.
I turned quickly and whispered to my friend to look at him. She did so quickly and didn't say anything. Once we left, I told her that I saw him on the online dating site. She said, "I know him." She told me worked at a local pharmacy. That day I went home to find him again online. It wasn't easy, but I finally located his profile. It sure was him. Before I could even message him, he sent me a message. I was surprised and responded and we began want became a very long interaction.
Our first official "date" was at an ice cream shop and then for drinks. He was a great story teller and regaled me of tale after tale about his life, family, and friends. Since he was a local boy, he also told me about his experiences in school. He had been in many of my co-workers classes, and it was interesting to hear what he had to say.
We met again and again. We went to movies, out to dinner, out dancing, shopping...we spent a lot of time together. But a couple months down the road, he "wanted to talk." That phrase scares women just as much as men. So, I met him, and he proceeded to tell me that he had so much on his plate that he couldn't fit dating into his life, and he just wanted to be friends. I tried my hardest to keep a hard exterior, but this was my first "heart break" since being single, and it didn't take long for the tears to flow. I did warn him, but he didn't leave soon enough before the waterworks started.
When we finally parted ways that night, we had said we'd be friends. I didn't really believe that would happen, but after a few weeks of awkward messaging, we slipped into an easy friendship. We had lots of inside jokes and could keep conversations going for a long time. I think I secretly held onto the thought that maybe he would change his mind eventually and want a relationship at some point. After a few months, we started hanging out again and doing friend things together. It was as if no time had passed, and things hadn't changed.
Oddly enough, he seemed to have a radar and whenever a new guy was on the horizon, he seemed to pick up communication or do something that would give me hope about things happening between us. No matter who I was seeing, Bob was always in the back of my mind. He was the barometer by which I measured every guy, and no one ever met his quality. I knew that until I was able to put him out of my head as a dating prospect that I would never be able to give a new guy a shot.
I did eventually get up the courage to talk to him about dating, but he said that until he was settled with his new job and place, he just wanted to focus on that. Still, we would text message, see each other, or talk on the phone on a daily basis until one week. All of a sudden, he disappeared and I didn't hear from him. I reasoned with myself that this was for the best. I could quit Bob cold turkey. It took a week before he contacted me again. Something changed in me that week. Not quite sure what it was, but the pull that he had previously had on me wasn't as strong. I didn't feel the need to hear from him and know what was going on with him. We still talked on a semi-regular basis, but that undeniable connection I had with him is gone. For a long time, I knew in my heart that Bob and I were each other's lobsters, but he was just scared. I now know that's not true and that there was a very good reason why we never ended up together which I will discuss in tomorrow's post.
XOXO,
Leia
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