"Stage 5 Clinger" was a sleek operator. We exchanged a few messages, and I was interested in getting to know him more. He wanted to talk on the phone immediately, but it was late and a school night so I told him I'd prefer the next day. He begged and said there was just one question he had to ask. I agreed and let him call. The question that he wanted to ask was about his hair. Even though he was in his mid-twenties, his hairline was already receding, and more than one woman had disappeared on him because of it. Of course, I'm not that shallow. Of course, that won't be an issue, I told him.
That one question conversation lasted hours. He told me about how he only talked to one person at a time. "I consider us 'talking' so you are the only person I'm talking to. I don't mess around with a bunch of women. You can check my phone whenever you want. I have nothing to hide." He said all the right things. "I know you and your daughter are a package deal. I am okay with that." I was starting to get won over very easily despite my skepticism toward men. "I'll call and message when I say." When we hung up, I thought I had found a decent man amidst the sea of rotten fish.
Sure enough the next day, he sent me messages and called as soon as he was out of work. He wasn't going on the dating site (yes, I checked...refer to scumbag part two). We talked many times and even Skyped. This could be it, I silently hoped. He was anxious to meet me, but I didn't have much free time without my daughter. So, I found a few hours that she would be away from home and told him to come help me move. He agreed and traveled the hour and half to help. He was great and even brought me a rose. Aww, how sweet, right? We enjoyed each other's company and wanted to date exclusively. It was much too soon for me to agree to that, but again, I wasn't seeing anyone else so I said we could try.
The next day, his communication was slow. It was out of character and for reason, I decided to go on the dating site that night and noticed he was online. Immediately, I had a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. Maybe it's nothing. Maybe he's looking at my pictures. After noticing this, I was a bit obsessive about it especially since he wasn't messaging me often, but we had another date planned so I tried not to worry. He was coming to see my new place all set up. When he showed up, he had an orchid for me as a housewarming gift. Again very sweet. We had a great time. Maybe the past two days were just a fluke. He went back home, and I felt only slightly better about him.
However, the following day, the same things started happening. Very little communication and lots of online dating site activity. When I noticed this, I will confess that I did something a little extreme (something I had not done before or since), but I had learned time and time again to trust my intuition, and every cell in my body was screaming that something was up. I went onto the dating site and made a fake profile and viewed his profile (it shows who views you). Surely, he wouldn't message the fake me, but he did. He proceeded to feed me the same garbage a second time around. He's not seeing anyone and focuses on one person at a time, blah, blah, blah. I was both angry and vindicated at the same time. I knew something was not right, and this just confirmed my suspicions. I waited a bit before texting him that I was done with him.
"Why baby? I want to see you."
I told him that he was not being honest with me and that I told him from day one, I don't play games and need no drama in my life. He wanted to know how he wasn't being honest.
"You're not only talking to me and you're still going on the dating site to meet people."
He did not respond, but sure enough, when he got off work, my phone rang.
"What's this all about?"
"I told you that I wanted you to delete your profile. You know what happened with the last guy who tried that on me."
We had a long conversation, but the whole time I knew that I was done with him, and he kept piling lie after lie on.
"Fine, I'll delete my profile if that makes you happy, but if I say it's deleted, it's deleted. You don't get to check up on me. You just trust me. That's what a relationship is."
What a crock of crap.
"Fine."
We hung up. Then, guess what he did. Did he go delete his profile? Nope. He went on and messaged the fake me. What a dirtbag. I went back and forth with him before I couldn't stand it anymore. I sent a final message to him telling him to try his BS on someone stupid enough to believe it before deleting my fake profile.
I figured he'd make the connection that it was me, but evidently he was as stupid as he was shady. He tried calling and texting the real me, but I was busy with a friend and didn't respond. When he hadn't heard from me all the next day, he called me. I happened to be sitting my best friend's couch. I didn't want to, but I answered the phone.
"What happened to you today? I texted you this morning."
I didn't say anything for a while and don't know quite how I started the rest of my speech. But eventually I said, "I know you're lying to me."
"What are you talking about?"
"You're still trying to meet other women."
"No, I'm not."
We went back and forth. "So you're telling me the name Chloe means nothing to you?"
"I have never talked to anyone with that name before. I don't know what you're talking about."
"Listen, we're both adults, and we both know you're lying. If you want to pretend you're not, go ahead, but we're done."
He was silent for a minute. "Well, I'm not lying, but I guess that's that."
I hung up then. I am not one for confrontation, so that conversation was difficult for me. Unfortunately for future men, this idiot created a big mistrust issue that has been hard for me to work through. And what I hate most is that, he is going to continue pulling this crap on other women and some of them will not catch on and will get really hurt. Why he would not just be honest and say he was talking to other people is beyond me. Some people...
XOXO,
Leia
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