There is a running joke between one of my best friends and I. Whenever a new guy comes into the picture, she will ask, "Is he preeeetttty?" I can't help but be smitten with a handsome guy. I can't help it; I'm human. Now that my friend has pointed out my tendency to get sucked in by looks so easily, I am more aware of this weakness. This awareness made me step away from my clearly defined "type," and that choice starts my next dating tale.
There was a friend of mine that I happened across on a dating site. RB was not really my type. He was not a pretty boy. In fact, he was the opposite. He had many tattoos and a beard and was a bit scruffy. Facial hair has never been something I've been overly attracted to; in fact, I prefer the clean-shaven type. So when we chatted occasionally and checked in on how our respective dating lives, it was a totally platonic exchange. He had mentioned that we should hang out since we live fairly close to one another. I never took him up on the offer when I was in a relationship. After I became single again, I contacted him to see if he wanted to hang out and see a movie we were both interested in. He replied in the affirmative, and we started texting. That communication became a daily occurrence.
In my mind, RB was still just a friend. We used to hang out on the regular, and he was easy to talk to. In fact, we had much in common. We watched the same shows and movies, we both had beautiful daughters, and we both liked playing games, for instance. So the prospect of having another friend to spend time with was all I saw coming from our communication. During one late night text session, he revealed that he had been into me since we first met, but I had been involved at the time. He said he had a "butterflies in the stomach" crush on me. I still wasn't sure I was ready to exit the friendzone with him, but as two weeks of communicating flew by, I was starting to be more and more interested in him as more than just a friend.
When the night of our first date arrived, I was over-the-moon excited. Over the weeks leading up to our date, our messages had turned flirty. RB would send sweet messages at random times, and he always remembered to tell me good morning and good night. We shared much about our lives, pasts, children, and just day-to-day things. When we met each other at the theatre, we embraced in a big hug and spent the half hour prior to the movie talking and catching up. I had been extremely nervous and hoped that it wouldn't be weird going on a date with my once-friend. My worries were unfounded. It felt as if we had been on a million dates already. We held hands while enjoying the movie; it was so sweet.
We parted ways after the movie, and I was on cloud nine. The next day, we texted while he was working and both agreed that we had a great time together and couldn't wait for the next time. Things changed the following day which happened to be a Sunday. RB woke later than normal as it was his day off; we spent an hour messaging, and then I didn't hear from him for hours, about eight to be exact. I finally got a Facebook message from him that explained that his daughter had gotten sick, and his phone wasn't working.
Unfortunately, he got sick the following day and did not communicate very much. Ever since the day his phone broke, nothing felt the same. He hardly ever contacted beyond a good morning text. In the weeks prior, we would spend hours at night talking about all kinds of topics. Those messages stopped completely. It was a rarity that I would hear from him after he got off work. Each and every Sunday, he would be MIA most, if not all, of the day.
Despite being reassured by a guy friend of mine that his behavior was not alarming, I just felt something was off. We had talked about getting together again two weeks after our initial date. As that time approached, he wouldn't commit to a day to spend time together. Friday night rolled around, and we were texting when he just stopped, and I didn't hear from him again until the morning. He posted a picture of him and a friend on social media at a party. The following day, he sent the usual good morning text and remained silent the whole day until I initiated a conversation with him in the afternoon. He told me he was planning to go home and relax. Again, he disappeared for the remainder of the night.
After this second night of no contact, I made a decision. I did not like how his behavior had changed so drastically. My gut was telling me something was wrong. So I sent him a message and told him something had changed, and he was off the hook. He did not respond (and I still haven't heard from to this day). He did, however, post a picture of himself at another party Saturday night when he had said he was going home to hang out.
I will never know what happened, and that will annoy me if he ever crosses across my mind. Luckily, that doesn't happen very often. I did learn that attraction can come in many shapes and forms and not to rule anyone out because he's not my usual type or "preeeetttty."
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