This post might be the most disappointing dating experience thus far. After cutting off things with RB, I was not really excited about getting back out there again. If you've read my blog, you know I have come into contact with some stinkers over the years. It was with much hesitation that I logged online and cautiously started talking to new people. This is when Mr. Wonderful happened along.
The day after Christmas, he sent me a message. We exchanged a few messages throughout the day and eventually moved to texting. The next night, he asked to call me, and we spent two hours on the phone. It was so easy to talk to him, and the hours flew by like minutes. Over the next few days, we texted occasionally and finally met up for drinks the following weekend.
We met at a local watering hole and spent over two hours chatting. I had a good time, but I wasn't as excited as I had been on my previous first date. When we parted ways, he gave me a brief hug and said it was nice to meet me. I didn't get the vibe that he was interested. I wouldn't have been too sad if he had never contacted me again. But he did when he got home. He said that he had a great time, that I was easy to talk to, and that he hoped he'd get to see me again. I was surprised but agreed that another date would be fun. He further surprised me the following afternoon when he texted me that he wanted to call me that evening. When he did call, he asked about my day and when we could go out again. In the age of texting, I was shocked he had actually called to ask me out. Of course, I agreed, and we made plans for the following weekend.
The next day when Mr. Wonderful got off work, he called, and we chatted for a bit. For the week leading up to our date, he texted me every morning before work, he called or texted after work, and would call to chat before bed. I am a verbal person and loved having actual conversations with a guy I was dating.
Our second date was simply amazing. We shared dinner at a restaurant that was new to both of us, went for drinks and live music, and ended the night with some ice cream. At the end of our second date, we shared our first kiss. It was one of those movie kisses. The world melted away, and I felt as if I were floating.
We continued our daily communication and nightly chats. We shared information about our families, past, kids, college experiences...you name it, we talked about it. Since we had both been dating for the past couple of years, we shared dating horror stories and lamented how annoying it was when people would not be open and honest or would just cut off contact.
We were both so excited to see one another, we made plans to meet for lunch days after our second date. Yet again, Mr. Wonderful was great. We enjoyed the time we could get together and made plans to meet up for two nights during the coming weekend. With each day and conversation, it seemed that things were moving along with us, and we might even be moving toward a relationship. He even casually dropped into a conversation that he had deleted his dating profile.
On our fourth date, we met for dinner and went for drinks and trivia at a local bar. While we did not win, we had a great time spending time together. For our fifth date, we decided to make dinner, rent a movie, and stay in. Mr. Wonderful showed up an hour before dinner time and spent time talking about our days and various other topics. Dinner was great, the movie was great, and we had a wonderful time together. When Mr. Wonderful left, we had agreed that I would get a sitter for the following weekend. He left me with another sweet, world-melting kiss and promised to let me know he had gotten home safely. When the text came through that he was home and had had a great evening, I smiled so big and slept easily.
The next morning started normally with the usual morning text. I responded as normal. Mr. Wonderful gets off in the early afternoon so when it was about an hour and half past when he should have been done, I gave him a call. He answered and said that he had rushed home to take a shower in time to meet his son who was supposed to be there soon. I let him know we had a sitter and were set for our next day. He responded that it sounded good, and we would go out again. Then, he said he would figure out his plans for the evening and shoot me a text. That text never came. Some four hours later, I got a notification that he played his round in a game that we played together. We went back and forth, and I finally beat him. I sent him a message about winning, and he sent back a joking message about letting me win. He said that he was headed home to go to bed. He said we would chat the next day. This would be the first time since our first date weeks prior that we did not talk before bed. At this point, I was getting a bit apprehensive. He did not contact me after work, he did not follow through by texting me when he said he would, and he did not call to talk at bed time. Three out of the norm things had happened in less than twelve hours. I decided that I would wait to see if he contacted me the following day.
That contact never came. For whatever reason, I had a knot in the pit of my stomach. Something had happened, and I did not know what had changed in the eight hours he was at work. I had lunch plans with a girlfriend and dinner plans with a best friend. I spent a good portion of those plans crying. I couldn't explain why I couldn't stop the tears. He hadn't actually done anything wrong except his communication changed. I contacted him that evening before bed and got no response.
The next morning when I awoke and had not received any communication from him, I decided to search for him on the dating site. Lo and behold, he had restarted his profile. This was confirmation that something had indeed changed. I was shocked. My red flags and warning signs are strong, and I got no inkling that something was amiss. It was especially hurtful because of all the time we spent talking about how dating was so hard and all of the dating pet peeves we shared. I couldn't believe that he decided to just end contact like that. He had even, not once but twice, agreed to plans for the following weekend. I wonder if he had planned to say anything to me at all. He knew that I had secured a babysitter.
After spending a few more minutes crying and then getting extremely angry, I sent a quick text that told him I saw his profile and felt he was a coward for not being forthcoming like he said he always was. I have yet to get any explanation and probably never will.
Whatever the reason he suddenly changed from Mr. Wonderful to Mr. Douchebag, I comfort myself by remembering that if he wasn't man enough to call someone to at least let them know it was over, then he is not the man for me. What is really sad about this turn of events is that the next time what appears to be a great man turns up, I will be on high alert because of this experience. I am still beyond angry at how easily he walked away without so much as a goodbye.
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