Someone needs to teach this guy some manners

Phillip needed a long lesson in dating etiquette for sure.  We met at my favorite restaurant, Carrabba's, for dinner.  I beat him to the restaurant and was waiting patiently when he texted me that he was close.  When I told him that I was already there, he said that I got to pay since I arrived first.  Now, I don't mind going dutch or helping out with money, but the way he said it was rude.  When he got there, he looked nothing like his pictures and honestly looked kind of dirty.

We were seated shortly and ordered drinks.  Immediately, expletives started flying left and right.  I'm not going to pretend that I am completely innocent, but there's certain things you don't do on a first date.  Later in the evening, he hit on the waitress.  I was more than a little turned off.  I ate my dinner and waited while he picked up the check.  I hightailed it out of there like no one's business.

I later thanked him for dinner but politely told him that I wasn't interested in any future communication.  He never contacted me again.  I hope that he learned some manners and will find someone to make him happy.

XOXO,
Leia

When she's always right, you start listening to her

By now, my readers should know that my best friend has a creepy sense about the men I've gone out with.  After many times of her predictions being right on, I really started listening.  One such example is Jose. He was a father of two children and was nice enough to me.  However, my best friend just had a really bad vibe about his pictures.  She just kept saying that he looked as if he could be scary.  His communication with me did not give me that feeling, but she kept at it.  "He looks like he could cut your brakes and make it look like an accident.

"Geez, why would you say that?"

A couple days later, I was talking to him on the phone when he started telling me about the time his former wife was admitted into the hospital for an accident.  She was very clumsy and was covered in random bruises.  It was so bad that the doctors made him leave the hospital because her injuries were indicative of domestic violence. Whoa. My best friend immediately popped into my head.  This was our last conversation.  I ended things the next day.  He wanted to know what he did wrong to which I responded nothing.  Things were just not going to work out.  He said he would leave me be which he did.  Now whether or not I dodged a bullet, we will never know.  But I'd rather be safe than sorry.

XOXO,
Leia

The Scumbag strikes again

When I first started my blog, I shared about a scumbag who had a girlfriend while he swore up and down that he didn't.  I kicked him to the curb and didn't look back.  However, a month or so down the road, he got a hold of me again and profusely apologized for his behavior.

"She wasn't my girlfriend. We just went out the one time. You didn't deserve what I did to you, and I want to make it up to you."

He begged and begged, and I finally agreed to meet him for dinner.  It was awkward to say the least. He shared that the girl who texted me was crazy and a pillhead, and he should've never went out with her.  "You are so much better than her."

Yet again, he seemed sincere. We started communicating again.  He wanted to delete our online profiles and date exclusively.  It was a bit fast for me, but I wasn't seeing anyone else so it didn't really change my situation. Besides, I like to focus on one person at a time.  I went online the next day to delete my profile.  He did not.  I asked about it, and he said that he couldn't figure out how to do it on his phone and would take care of it soon.

A few days before our fourth date, he texted me and a few other people a couple of funny pictures and videos. I responded and the text apparently it went to all of the numbers.  Two of the people responded to ask who I was. I explained that I was just responding to a group message.  No problem.  When the third number responded and I relayed the explanation, the person said, "Oh, this must be Kristen."

"This is not Kristen," was my response.

"Um, ok. Sorry."

Hmm, he seemed to be up to his old tricks. Our date was the next day, and I was hot.  He still had not deleted his profile and the whole text messaging thing was bothering me.  That night he let me know that he did not have a car and needed me to pick him up.  I was seething by the time that I got there, and it was obvious because he noted my changed demeanor on the drive to dinner.

We sat down and were talking.  I was building up my courage to confront him about the situation when he said that he was going outside to smoke a cigarette.

"You don't smoke," I said.

"Yeah, I do. I have one a day."

"I asked you, and you said you didn't smoke. I told you smoking is a dealbreaker."
"I didn't say that. Are you serious?"
"Totally."

He got up and went to smoke anyway. I couldn't believe that I had been pulled in again.  When he returned, we left.  I took him home and we never spoke again.  That chapter is definitely closed.  Burn me once, shame on you. Burn me twice, shame on me.  I have learned my lesson for sure.

XOXO,
Leia

Talk about rude and inconsiderate

My experience with Chris was very short. We messaged for a few days, he always sent good morning messages, and he seemed nice enough. He lived closer than most men I had dated and had a son my daughter's age. This could work. Our first date was a trip to the beach. We had a nice time and planned to meet a second time. He worked in the food industry so his hours were crazy. The night of our second date, he got held up at work, and we had to make new plans. All of the restaurants in the area we planned to go were closed, and he asked me to pick up a movie for a night in. It was a drizzly night that night, and I drove very carefully. When I arrived at his place, it kind of resembled the barn I had visited in a previous post except it had a trailer on it in place of the barn. He led me inside where his roommate was playing video games. This was the first time that I had heard of a roommate. No biggie.

We went to spare room that had an extra tv and started the movie which had one of my favorite actors in it. He talked though out nearly the entire movie. He asked random questions which I tried to answer. Eventually, I needed a bathroom break. The bathroom in that room did not have a door. What is it with bathrooms without doors? He left the room to give me privacy. While in the restroom, I noticed an electric cigarette. Smoking is my pet peeve and even though he appeared to be trying to quit, I was still turned off by this. 

When we got back to the movie, he asked about my drive over. I said something about driving carefully. He wanted to know why.

I proceeded to explain, "Driving in the rain makes me nervous because my mom and sister died in a car accident in weather exactly like this."

Most people would've said something kind, but not this guy. He said, and I quote, "Why you gotta go there?"

"You asked." This response did not sit well with me and as soon as the movie was done, I grabbed it and left. I hoped that he got the picture and would not contact me. He did message me good morning the next day.  I politely responded when I got up. He did not message me for at least twelve hours about company. I was out with friends and did not respond. I have not heard from him since. It's for the best. I need a kind and caring lobster in my life. 

XOXO,

Leia

He had enough baggage for three people

David and I never met, but the story is still an interesting one. We had a lot in common. We were both writers, we both had kids, and we both were looking for our other half. Our short communication went very well. He was interested and even wrote me a beautiful poem near the end of our contact. Our plan was to meet over a weekend. That Friday, he went mia. He was not one to disappear and not to respond to messages. I never heard back from him that weekend, but I did notice that he had added "my poem" to his dating profile. I was not happy.  He was obviously not being upfront and something was up.

Three days later, David contacted me. To get the full impact of what he said, let me first tell you about his children. David was the father of three kids with two different women. I have nothing against kids. I love kids and look forward to having another one some day. But I was leery of two other women to deal with. He told me that he had frequent contact with them. Ok, now that is out of the way, on to what he told me. David said that he found out one of his baby's mom was pregnant again, this time with twins, and guess what, he was the father. That is five kids with two different women, and he still wanted more. That weekend he had been dealing with that and some work stuff. Way too much for me to deal with. I told him that I just couldn't see dating him with all that going on. 

"I don't understand why this has to affect us," he said. 

He was less than happy when I continued to hold my ground, but he eventually left me be. A couple times, months later he tried to get my attention again, but with no success. Thoughts of the Brady bunch kept rolling through my brain. 

XOXO,

Leia

And my life flashed before my eyes...

"Horseman" was one of the scariest experiences of my dating experiences.  At first glance, he seemed to be perfectly normal.  He worked with horses, played polo, and sailed. He was much different than anyone else I had dated. We decided to meet halfway between our towns for dinner one night, however, he was running late for work and asked that I drive the hour to meet him. I love a good adventure and agreed with his request. By the time this was decided, it was late, and I did not get to the restaurant until after 9.  When I walked through the door, I noticed him.  He waved to me, and I walked to his table. When I sat, he told me that the kitchen was already closed but we could have chips and beer. I was hungry but had traveled all that way to meet this man so I did not complain. At first, things were fine. We talked about normal first date things, family, friends, and work. Later in the evening, it was obvious that the restaurant was closing up so he paid the bill, and we left.

Once outside, he told me there wasn't much to do in the town on a Thursday and suggested we hang out at his place. I wasn't getting any bad vibes yet so I agreed. We stopped at a store first. I needed a pit stop, and he needed to get food for his cats. When I came out of the bathroom, he was waiting the register with a bag of imitation cheese puffs.

"What's that for?" I asked. 

"It's for the cats," he responded. 

"Your cats eat cheese puffs?" Ok, that was weird. 

We left and got into our separate cars and headed on our way. Things were still fine, however, as we got closer and closer to his place, the surroundings got scarier and scarier. We came to a stop at a gate; he got out of his truck and opened the gate for us to go through. Once on the inside, he closed and locked the gate. This was the first thing that scared me. Then, on his way back to his car, he stopped at my driver's side door and tapped on the window. It startled me. When I rolled down the window, he said, "You look like you're scared I locked you in." I laughed it off, but that's exactly what was in my mind. A side note: my best friend had all of the details about my date...safety first. 

When we parked our cars and got out, I was in the middle of a dilapidated barn. That's right, a barn. While it was dark, I could see that the ground was littered with broken down trucks, boats, and random debris. My date got out of his vehicle, opened the bag of cheese puffs, and threw the bag out into the darkness. I heard what I assumed were cats descend on the bag. Who knew? Cats like cheese puffs. 

At this point, I should have left, but for whatever reason, I did not. My stupidest mistake. He said he was going to build a fire as it was quite chilly.

Scavenging the yard, he started building a fire. When it was finally going, he offered me a beer. I'm a polite person and accepted it although I did not plan to imbibe much of it. I even secretly poured small amounts of it out while he wasn't looking. As soon as that drink was done, my butt was out of there! He started talking about all kinds of crazy things. For example, he swore that the government was tailing his nephew. Oh my. When the fire was burning hot, he sat down and said that the fire was so hot, he could even throw an online date on there. What the hell kind of thing was that to say?

He went into the barn which was the only building on the property. When he came back out, I had to go to the bathroom again and asked about a restroom. He said there was one in the barn, and I followed him inside and was appalled by the bathroom. The toliet was black, there was no door on the room, and there were wires strung everywhere. It could have totally been the site of a scary movie. My desire to leave increased. I came out of the barn and "finished" my beer. He tried to give me another one, but I declined and said I didn't want to drink because I was driving shortly. At this point, when he realized I was leaving before he wanted, he got pissed. He started being rude and making pleas for me to stay. He said I could even sleep in the barn on the couch with the electric blanket. Yeah, right. That was not happening

When I made my move to the car to leave, he said, "I can't believe you're going to leave me here all night alone."

"I've got to get home."

"Fine. Go." 

"Can I get our of the gate?" 

"It's not locked."

"Thanks," I replied and hightailed it to my car. When I was safely inside, I locked my doors and reversed as quickly and safely as possible. I made it to the gate, hopped out to open it, and got the hell out of there. Once I was finally on a main road, I started to breath easier. 

It was late by the time I finally made it home and I had a message from him waiting for me. It simply said he hoped I'd made it home ok. I figured I'd message him back the next mornings and cut things off. I definitely had no desire to date someone who reminded me of the unibomber. But when I went on the dating site the next morning, he had blocked me. Really? He must've been really mad at me. That made things easier for me. I was doubting that my lobster was out there for me, but the search continued with hopes that my perfect man was looking for me, too.

XOXO,

Leia

Do I have a crazy magnet in me?

"Tattooed Timmy" was yet another person who I did not need to meet. He was crazy with a capital C. At first, there were no warning signs. We messaged back and forth for a while before talking about meeting. He came up with the idea of going to Halloween Horror Nights. If you know me well, you know I LOVE scary movies and haunted houses. This date idea was right up my alley. I was very excited. We started to make our plans for our date. Things seemed to be going fine until a few days before our date. He texted me and proceeded to tell me that he no longer wanted to meet as planned. He said that he refused to meet me until I was in love with him. He wanted all of my love or he couldn't meet me. Umm, what? I only responded that I don't believe that you can fall in love without spending time together, and if he was serious, then we were done talking. He was 100% serious, and I was done with him. I don't need someone that unhinged. Move on to the next possible lobster candidate.

XOXO,

Leia