"Crazy iPhone Guy" may have been a little bi-polar. He seemed to be pretty normal when we messaged one another, and when I first met him, no alarms went off. He was funny and interesting. We met to watch a basketball game over a beer. My first peek into his craziness is when he saw that I owned an iPhone. He went on a tirade about how Apple makes their products and such. I basically tuned him out on this little rant. He went back to his funny self when he was done belittling Apple. After the game was over, he wanted to go somewhere else. As I was the sober one, I got to drive. Lucky me! We ended up at a gelato shop. I needed a coffee. It was late, and I had a long drive back home. When he heard me order a coffee, his crazy side kicked in again.
"I can't believe you're getting a coffee. How boring. Get a beer." I told him I had to drive and there was no way I was drinking anything this close to getting in a car. We talked to some of the locals while sipping our drinks. When I finally finished my coffee, I told him I needed to be on my way. Well, that started him off on another rant.
"You're so conventional. You're stuck in a prison of your own making. Be original. Don't go home."
I ignored his crap, dropped him off at his car, and headed on my way. He must've thought our date was a success, because he tried to get me to go to the beach with him the next day. At the same time that I met him, I was talking to someone else who was much more appealing than him and who didn't yell at me about my phone. I declined the beach date. A few days later, I told him that I was going to see how things went with this other guy, and we lost contact.
Now, fast-forward a year. "Crazy iPhone Guy" contacted me again. His messages and communication were normal sounding. I suppose a year makes you forget a lot, because I stupidly accepted another date with this man. And guess what...I had to drive again. He asked me to pick him up which I only agreed to because I would be in control of my own transportation. On the ride to our first stop, he was perfectly fine. No crazy talk and rants. We stopped and had some wine (my favorite pastime). After, he wanted to go play pool or darts. We meandered downtown until we found a place that was not too packed that had pool tables. Outside this establishment was a young guy trying to drum up business and a woman assisting him. Well, he started a conversation with the two of them. He was asking them why he should go in the bar. These two kept giving me looks as if to ask, "What is his deal?" When he finally stopped talking, we walked into the bar and grabbed a drink. I sipped mine very slowly. The woman that had been outside followed us inside. She and I started talking. I found out that she was in veterinarian school and was friends with the guy she had been sitting with outside. All the while, my date was scoping out the pool table. It turns out that it was a coin-operated pool table, and he didn't have any cash. The woman I had been talking to excused herself and when she returned, she handed him some change. "Here, since you weren't prepared to take your lady out." It took all my willpower not to laugh at her snub.
She joined us at the pool table and so did her friend from outside. The four of us played a few games of pool and chatted. I liked the two additions to our group, but my date was just not doing it for me. Call it a hunch. I mentioned to my female companion that I didn't want to drive all the way back home because I was so tired. She suggested that we go back to her place to play darts and I could crash at her place. She, her male friend, and her roommate would all be there so I would not be alone with "Crazy iPhone Guy." This sounded like the best compromise. I have a close friend who lives in the same town, so I texted him to let him know the address I was going to (safety first!) before heading over there. I told my date that I was going with them; he could come or not, but I wasn't going to his apartment (I was sure that's what he had planned). He did not seem extremely happy about this but went along anyway.
Up until this point, he hadn't had any rants or outbursts, so I thought maybe his previous behavior was a fluke. That all changed when we got to the house. Our hostess asked us not to be too loud since her roommate was asleep. Everyone seemed okay with this; everyone except my date that is. He was loud and obnoxious and started cursing at the girl we came with. She kept asking him to keep it down especially when the roommate came out. He would not shut up. So, we finally called him a cab and wanted anxiously for it to show.
We went outside to where my date was being loud so that she could tell him the cab was on its way. He started to apologize drunkenly and when the cab arrived, he stumbled to it without a word to any of the three of us. A weight was lifted from my shoulders when the car pulled away. The three of us talked about how he changed so quickly from one location to the next. While we were in this conversation, I received a text message. I figured it was my friend checking in on me. But it wasn't. It was "Crazy iPhone Guy." The message said, "F*** you, you fat b****." Wow, what a gentleman. I showed the other two and they were astonished as well. I brushed aside my bruised ego; it never feels good to hear that even if you know it's not true. Then, my companions went to sleep, and I slept on the futon in the guest room. I woke up refreshed and went home.
A couple days later, I received a missed call from a number I didn't know. It took me a little bit to figure out it was "Crazy iPhone Guy." Of course, I didn't answer, and he hasn't tried to contact me again. I'm assuming he figured out there's no coming back from his behavior this time. Good riddance! He is certainly no where near close to my lobster!
XOXO,
Leia
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