My first couple of stories haven't been very outrageous. I wanted to warm my readers up a bit with some of the less insane stories before really getting into the nitty-gritty. Time for a really appalling story that shows some quite deplorable behavior. I apologize in advance. This is going to be a long post. I am not exaggerating when I say that I was in contact with this man on and off for four months prior to meeting one another. Quite the buildup, eh? Well, this scumbag (I forget his original nickname but he ended up being referred as scumbag) appeared to be quite worth the wait. He was so funny, humble, shy, attractive, and interesting in person. Before we even left one another's company at the end of our first date, he was begging to see me again. It made me feel desirable that he enjoyed my company so much. We made plans to meet again in three days' time. I was on cloud nine when I got to work the next week; ask my friends. At lunch, I shared the details of my date with my two closest friends. They were impressed by him setting up a second date so soon instead of playing the waiting game. "Guess what else...he hurt his back the morning of our date and could barely walk but still came to see me instead of bailing." We were all suckered in by his sweet charm. This really could be the one.
The night before our second date, we worked out our plans and decided to go to the park for a picnic. Romantic, right? I was a ball of energy the entire next day. He said he'd let me know at lunch what time he would be finished with work. But lunch came and went as did the rest of the day with no word from Mr. Right. When I went to sleep that night after being stood up, I was distraught. How could things have changed so quickly over night?
A couple of days passed and to my surprise, he logged into the dating site on which we met, and I received a text from him. The story I got was that his nephew lost his phone, and he didn't have my number to reach me. Also, he did not have computer access because he used his phone for all Internet usage. He had to go to a friend's house to use a computer to look up my number from our prior messages. Something with this excuse just didn't set right with me. But, my best friend, ever the optimist, told me not to be a negative Nelly and give him the benefit of the doubt. People do lose phones after all. Later that night, he and I spoke on the phone. He profusely apologized and begged to make it up to me. It was with some hesitation that I accepted his apology and arranged another date for the following Saturday.
I wasn't as excited for our date this time, but I was looking forward to visiting my favorite winery. Saturday night rolled around, and I was patiently waiting all day to get dolled up. The plan was to meet at 9 that night. Well, wouldn't you know it, a few hours before our date, I got a message that work was running late, but he was still planning to come. He worked construction and odd jobs; supposedly, the homeowners he was working for were being overly nit-picky about the job. Now, when 10, then 11 and 12 rolled around and he claimed to still be working, I was on high alert. He asked if we could reschedule the next night. Although every red light was going off in my body, I agreed. He said he'd let me know that he got home safely and that he was looking forward to seeing me.
It was at 3 am that I was woken from a dead sleep from hearing my phone go off. In my sleepy state, I quickly glanced and saw that it was a message from this man's phone. It read, "Who is this?" I immediately sat up and was wide awake. My first thought was "crap, he's married." I fell back asleep after deciding not to deal with this in the middle of the night. Upon waking the next morning, I cooked up a good message that thoroughly threw him under the bus all the while not revealing my identity.
At lunch time, I received a text message from a new number with the same message "Who is this?". Needless to say, I was more than a little freaked out. I responded with a message asking who she was which never was responded to. About an hour later, my phone rang and it was scumbag.
I answered the phone, and I vividly remember him saying, "Hey, baby, what's up?"
"Why don't you tell me what's up?" I retorted and relayed the story of the last night. He swore up and down that he was with his work buddy all night and couldn't understand how I got a message from his phone.
"Please just meet me for a drink. I'll figure out what's going on." He sounded quite sincere, so I found myself in his presence that evening. I was on high alert and very withdrawn. He wove a tale so believable and he was so genuine that I actually bought his BS. The story goes that his buddy has been trying to get info out of him about who he was dating but he wouldn't tell him, so while scumbag was asleep, he got in his phone. Yes, so so stupid was I to buy this line of crap, but I did. I am not proud that he made me believe him, but he truly deserved an Oscar for his acting that night. Although I did believe him, I was still very cautious when we parted ways.
The next morning, I got a good morning text and went about my day. At the end of my day, I received another message from that random number that informed me that she was scumbag's woman and that he was with her Saturday night. She threw back some of my text messages to him which showed she had read our conversation. I was more than livid and texted him some pissed off message which I can't recall now before finding a friend. When I located my friend, I said, "What the hell is wrong with men?" and I couldn't help it, I started crying. The tears weren't for him per say because I did not have much invested in him. I was more mad at myself than anything else. He never responded to my angry last message which was an admission of guilt in my eyes.
Now, many of my choices in the above story shame me. However, I learned much from the experience with him, the most important of which is trust your gut! If everything feels wrong, no matter what he says, trust your intuition. I should have listened to all those bad feelings from the beginning.
I'm sad to say that there is a part two to this story which will come later.
XOXO,
Leia
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